Facts About Out Life

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I am not going to lie. One of the things I’m really tired of pretending not to be is embarrassed for wanting to feel the commitment of a reliable, true, and friendly, companion; especially with a society like ours where doing the exact opposite is praised and applaudable due to fear of being made a fool of and where being trusting/trustworthy isn’t heavily uplifted. I’m really tired of replacing effective communication and open and honest conversations with blue screens behind the pitter-patter of two rapid thumbs. I’d like to still hope that in a time that we’re now in, there are some compassionate people who understand and don’t shy away nor look down, disturbingly perturbed upon others who still genuinely believe and hope and care for that kind of pulchritudinous chemistry. Chemistry, granted, is really hard to achieve though. But how do you expect to find chemistry without a little vulnerability and honesty? I am tired of being embarrassed of wanting to be enamored, adored, and yes, in love and 100 times reciprocative of those affections. In 2016, dare you speak those words out loud, and peers turn cock-eyed and belittling. Turning up their noses and laughing in slight distraught at the idea of something that humans placed on this planet were simply meant to do could be so highly unachievable as if Jesus returning back to the year 2016 himself was more likely. Ever so seemingly, younger generations tend to appear serious about the idea of acquiring many partners and never settling down, but it seems to me that behind that idealism, the truth secretly lies in silent hope for a partner. For a companion. For true friendship. And if said friendship manifests into a beautiful relationship, the merrier. The fear of appearing stupid and made a fool of while in love has jilted the younger generations’ belief that wanting to feel, be, and reciprocate love is possible. And for hopeless romantics such as myself who never stray away from an opportunity to build bridges, bonds, and blissful bravery, have a tougher time with openly being honest about these kinds of things.

In this society, in this era that we live in, in this world today, I finally realized yesterday that I am embarrassed to admit to wanting these things. I genuinely want to be in love one day, and for now, I genuinely want a connection, a bond, and a special friendship with a particular person until things manifest as they should, if they should, whenever it should. I seek out sincere and rare companionships with individuals. I don’t care for tedious and unimportant relations/relationships with copious people. And I certainly don’t believe in wasting one’s emotions vs. time. In 2016, I comprehend that love shouldn’t always be a priority, but bashing the idea of it shouldn’t be a natural reaction as well. In light of all this, being hopeful has kept me optimistic about the idea of love rather than being tainted by every single disappointment. Vulnerability is a scary thing to be especially with strangers in a generation who can play two-faced and misuse you for whatever their personal desires are. But hope for me is the reason why I’ve never turned to that side of the penny, where having more than one partner is praised and playing with people’s emotions is the game to win. I hope that this sparks a conversation for others to be open and admitting and even willing, as we together, begin to let down our guards and have honest conversations with our peers about building bridges, bonds, and being in love in 2016 and beyond.

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These photos were part of a campaign I was supposed to post a few months ago. My anxiety was so high that I refused to open a simple email and perform a simple task that required a simple change in my caption that caused me to miss out on a few hundred dollars. Most people would say, “Charlie, for a few hundred dollars how you gonna be afraid to open an email??”. When dealing with severe anxiety, it’s not as simple as it seems.

I’ve lost out on quite a few thousand dollars in the past because I was too afraid to open my email and perform yet another “simple task”. Constant back and forth between anyone and myself cause me to cease all communication. I get panic attacks and then I just avoid my email all together for 2 weeks straight no matter who’s emailing me. It’s the most frustrating, idiotic thing I’ve ever had to deal with but that’s my daily struggle.

Some things I’ve done lately to overcome the fear of opening my email app:

1) take a deep breath and get it out of the way first thing in the morning. Some ppl say it’s not a good idea to deal with emails in the morning but I tend to lose out on opportunities waiting until noon or later to check and respond to time sensitive opportunities.

2) remember to continue inhaling and exhaling. I’ve gotten emails that made me so frustrated that weren’t a big deal. All it required were a bit of clarification on my end for their mess ups and a deep breath. For me, it adds another unnecessary level of stress especially when I feel I’ve completed my end and then some. This has happened to me and I forgot to take a deep breath and sent a obvious frustrated email. Luckily the receiver was positive and sympathetic of her mistakes but that could’ve gone left and caused me to miss out on $900. Most important rule: keep breathing.

3) try not to think about it. The more I think about who and the amount of emails, the more I avoid it. It’s best to not think about it and just dive right in and deal. It allows you not to put off due to overthinking it.

It seems unideal to be afraid to open emails but you’d be surprised what anxiety does to you and how many other ppl are going through the same issue. Hope this helps someone.😊

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Facts About Out Life